Tag: funny
group name: slicesoflife
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February 14, 2007 01:26 AM EST --
At lunch time yesterday I had the misfortune of getting back to the break room with my lunch after my office-mates had already ingested their lunch and were out smoking and joking. Thus, I was reduced . . .
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January 01, 2007 01:34 PM EST --
This morning I grudgingly got out of bed and schlepped downstairs to make some coffee; while I was waiting for it to brew, I unloaded the dishwasher. The first thing I pulled out was a heavy plastic . . .
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December 17, 2006 07:19 PM EST --
While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by
a truck and dies.
His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.
"Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. . . .
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July 29, 2006 04:58 PM EDT --
ELLICOTT CITY, Md. - Police have charged three 17-year-old
students after an incident involving marijuana and yellow, smiley-faced gumballs. Federal drug agents aren't too happy about . . .
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November 29, 2006 10:55 PM EST --
They were the best of times, they were the worst of times (whoops, I think I may have stolen that line).
My very worst nightmare come true at a party. As my friends and I were getting ready . . .
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October 17, 2008 04:58 PM EDT --
Most of the American populace thinks it improper to spank children, so I have tried other methods to control my kids when they have one of 'those moments.'
One that . . .
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May 06, 2006 09:33 PM EDT --
First published February 3, 2006
When I was a kid, my parents loved to humiliate me by hugging me in public, or to crush my dreams of glory by keeping me from sky-diving off the tool shed. Back then, . . .
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September 01, 2006 12:06 PM EDT --
First published September 1, 2006
I recently had my first colonoscopy.
Ta-daa!
Ok, I admit we're not talking about coming home with a Pulitzer here, but I'm still pretty darned proud of myself. . . .
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April 05, 2007 03:20 PM EDT --
"Remember I could go to the bathroom any time I wanted."
When's the last time you were on a train? I don't mean urban transit or commuter trains; I mean one . . .
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May 13, 2006 10:37 PM EDT --
I, __________________________, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to
be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means.
Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead
politicians . . .
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May 02, 2006 11:57 AM EDT --
First published January 13, 2006
This is a little out of season, but I'm posting it at the request of Heather.
You know, to me the worst thing about a Midwestern winter is not the gray skies. It's . . .
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December 30, 2006 09:18 AM EST --
I follow the same simple ritual each time I cruise my neighborhood for new Avon customers. Backpack. Check. Brochures. Check. Extra skin care samples for bed-ridden Mrs. Gallegos. Check. Turn off . . .
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May 18, 2006 08:24 PM EDT --
As I've mentioned frequently in my column, I have a Doberman named Brenna, who happens to be the biggest baby of all dogs. Ok, I know what you're going to say; that your little poodlie-cocka-whatever . . .
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January 04, 2007 01:50 AM EST --
Not too long ago I treated my readers to the details of my colonoscopy, an often-feared medical procedure that turned out to be a bit of a technological miracle. Of course, after that little excursion . . .
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March 09, 2007 08:23 PM EST --
This just in : There is no baby at a baby shower. Nor is there a shower. I know. I just went to one. Yes, a man at a most secret feminine ritual. I think I was invited because . . .
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February 07, 2007 09:00 PM EST --
Now, I know that not many people can say that here in this virtual town of Gather, and live to tell the tale, but I must write this because of something I read in another article published here recently. . . .
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May 04, 2007 11:55 AM EDT --
Not too long ago I had to wear a suit. Honest, a jacket, a tie and everything.
And socks!
It was my nephew's wedding, and my wife convinced me that the Dockers, golf shirt and dress flip flops . . .
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April 13, 2006 07:08 PM EDT --
An angel in my mail box
Did it come from you?
Sweet cherub thoughts,
just to make my dreams come true.
What?
PROVIDED I send it to 13 people in the next . . .
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June 30, 2006 05:57 PM EDT --
The Sci Fi Channel recently produced a TV special, called "Countdown To Doomsday" in which experts consider ten really crappy ways human civilization might come to an end. Possibilities include . . .
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July 25, 2006 10:14 AM EDT --
People
swimming,
sunning,
showing-off on the high dives,
lifeguards try to keep order,
staff provides maintenance,
the waters get filtered,
instruction is available,
guys scope chicks,
chicks scope . . .
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